Bravo for your instincts! Contrary to what the baby's grandmothers are 
telling you, compassion will never spoil a baby (or an older child, either). 
Like all babies, your baby entered the world convinced that you are a 
perfect parent giving her ideal care. Your responsiveness is the measure 
your baby uses to gauge her self-worth. Gratifying your child's wishes, 
especially for comfort and attention, will not spoil your child. It will not 
make her hopelessly self-centered or unable to postpone gratification. 
     On the contrary, your child's all-encompassing need for your focused 
caring will decrease when she becomes certain of your unconditional wish 
to respond. Your child will learn that life is such that she cannot always 
have the things she wants, but she can always have a positive, loving 
response from you. When you try to make her as happy as possible and 
soothe her cries, you sustain her inborn optimism and give her an inner 
well-being rich enough to share with others. 
     In reality, “spoiled” children behave in ways that antagonize adults 
because they have received too little positive attention, not too much. 
Parents are sometimes told that their baby is trying to manipulate them 
when she cries, but manipulation is a word that never applies to babies. 
Assertions about the infant's wily motives are disproved by scientific 
evidence; the data conclusively contradict the notion that infants can 
fake unhappiness. 
     Crying is not a calculated act. Babies cry because they feel over- 
whelmed and need your loving assistance. When their parents do not 
respond to their tears, babies find themselves in a vicious circle: they 
feel unlovable when they are unhappy, and they are unhappy because 
they feel unlovable. 
     On the other hand, because you are the source of your young child's 
greatest joy, when you freely supply your loving attention, you give your 
baby a storehouse of well-being that will last a lifetime and make her strong 
and resilient by seeing her through every disappointment and frustration.