SCHOOL-AGE Q&A

First we suggest that neither punishments nor rewards will solve the real 
problem, which is that for some reason your son is not enjoying the learning 
experience. Punishing him only made him dislike his studies more. If you 
entice him with rewards, he may work for the reward, but that will not 
introduce him to the pleasure of learning. When the rewards cease, his 
motivation will run out of steam. 
     The best long-term solution is to find a way to help your son enjoy 
his studies. The first step is to show him that you are on his side. Ask him 
how he feels about school-which subjects he likes, and which subjects are 
causing him trouble. Then ask what you can do to help. Perhaps he would 
like to have a tutor who would help him with the subjects with which he 
is struggling. 
     One strategy we have found effective is to invite him to be in the 
same room with you when he is doing his homework, so that he will have 
an adult available to answer questions as they arise. Because your goal 
is to show him that learning can be fun, do your very best to be positive 
and never negative when answering his questions. For example, if he 
has made a mistake, rather than telling him he has done something wrong, 
tell him he made a good try. Rather than just giving him the answer, show 
him how to divide the question into small steps that will lead to an answer. 
     The best way to discover that learning can be fun is to share the 
problem-solving effort with someone who is positive and enthusiastic. 
If you can be that person for your son, or you can find a tutor who offers 
these qualities, your son’s natural curiosity will be stimulated and he will 
begin to get more enjoyment from his studies.