School Age Questions - Smart Love Answers

Chronic nail-biting.

My nine-year-old daughter bites her nails. My wife and I haven’t had 
to cut them for years, so you get some idea of how continuous this is. 
She’s generally a happy, self-confident child. My wife says this is just 
her being an oral person. (She also sucked her thumb until she was six.) 
I am worried that it’s her way of handling stress, but not sure if it’s a 
good or bad way. Sometimes when she’s playing outfield, I notice she 
seems more focused on her nails than the game, for example. And it just 
doesn’t seem like a great idea to be nibbling on her nails. It seems like 
a good way to expose herself to more germs. What do you think? And 
if it is a bad habit, what can we do about it?

T.R., Hinsdale

We think that your wife is probably correct that your daughter’s habit 
of thumb-sucking became transformed into the more socially acceptable 
habit of biting her nails. As with all nervous habits, the more you focus 
on her nail-biting, the more anxious and self-conscious she will be about 
it, and the more she will be likely to do it. As for germs, just encourage 
her to wash her hands when they get dirty. 
     Nail-biting is a sign of stress. Even though your daughter seems 
happy and self-confident, perhaps she has some worries she feels hesitant 
to share with you. Try asking her in a relaxed way how things are going 
at school and with her friends. Also think about her time at home. Are you 
able to spend some enjoyable, unpressured time with her, or are most of 
your interactions focused on things she must accomplish, such  as chores 
or homework? If you can find ways to help her share her social or academic 
concerns and also, to the extent possible, relieve her of the pressure of 
external demands, over time your daughter will feel more relaxed, and the 
nail-biting will decrease.

SCHOOL-AGE Q&A

Chronic nail-biting.