SCHOOL-AGE Q&A

This is a wonderful opportunity to help your son to understand that his 
health and safety are more important than his friends’ approval and that 
there are times when he needs to “just say no.” 
     You might begin by talking about the nature of true friendship. Real 
friends would not give him a hard time for following the rules you have 
set and for wanting to protect himself. Then emphasize that if staying in 
the good graces of his friends means putting himself at risk, the price of 
that friendship is too high because no friendship is more important than 
his physical safety. 
     Ideally, your son will respond to your discussion by gaining the strength 
to tell his friends that he is going to wear the protective gear and to ignore 
any teasing that results. If he still feels unable to say “no” to his friends, 
we suggest that you ask your son how you can be of help. Perhaps for a 
while you need to be physically present when he is skateboarding with his 
friends so that he can say he “has to” wear protective gear in order to skate. 
Or he may think of other ways to use your authority as a buffer between 
him and his friends, such as telling them that you are going to drop in 
randomly to check on him or that he doesn’t feel he can break his promise 
to you. 
     It is critical, though, that you do not accept the premise that it is OK 
for him to skate unprotected in order to keep the peace with his friends. 
Your insistence on this point will both keep him safe now, and also will 
make it easier for him later on if friends try to convince him to smoke, 
take drugs, or engage in any of the other dangerous activities that are 
available to preteens and teens.