Teen Questions - Smart Love Answers

How do I deal with my son and his homework lies?

What do you do when your child doesn’t tell you the truth about handing 
in homework? I check with my thirteen-year-old son every day about 
whether his homework is done and he always says it is. I just went for 
a parent-teacher conference, and his advisor told me that he is inconsistent 
about getting homework done in each of his courses. And, of course, when 
he doesn’t do his homework, he can’t do well on tests and quizzes. As a 
result, he is doing quite badly. 
     I have talked and talked to him about the importance of doing well 
in school to his future life, but I am obviously not getting through. I am 
thinking about grounding him or taking away his TV privileges until I get 
a good report.

A.J., Oak Park

Actually, this is a fairly common problem. Like younger children, teenagers 
often bend the truth to avoid unpleasantness. 
     The solution is not to punish your son, which will only make him feel 
alienated and more inclined to hide bad news from you, but to show him 
that you will help him and work with him. 
     Let him know that you realize that at this moment in his life he needs 
help getting his work done. Tell him that you are going to contact each of 
his teachers and request that they e-mail or fax you his homework schedule 
and contact you immediately if an assignment is not handed in. Teachers 
are usually willing to do this for parents of struggling children. 
     Offer daily to help your son with assignments he finds difficult. Insist 
that he do his homework first before he watches TV or talks with his friends 
on the phone. Go over the homework with him to make sure that it is done 
well and that he understands the assignment. Most important, remain friendly 
and positive so that your son sees you as being on his side. 
     Over time, the good habits you instill will become second nature to 
him and he will be increasingly able to assume responsibility for getting 
his work done well and on time.

PRETEEN/TEEN Q&A

How do I deal with my son and his homework lies?