Helping Children Feel Good About Seeking Help in School
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Sometimes it can be hard for children to ask for help. They can feel hesitant or inhibited because they may fear that it is a reflection of their abilities or have feelings of inadequacy or shame. But when parents are able to have conversations with their children about the importance of asking for help and framing it in a way that praises seeking help - it can have big impacts in their learning and school experience.
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Helping Children to Identify Their Feelings: Sometimes children can have a hard time knowing when they could use some help. Conversations with students about their experience inside the classroom or during lessons can provide parents with information about what is going on for them. If your child shares that they are feeling frustrated, bored, confused, or even angry, parents can explain that these emotions are how our minds communicate to us that we could use some support.
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Identifying Who Can Help: Help your child identify others at school, such as teachers, counselors, or the school nurse, whom they feel comfortable approaching for help or support. Explain that teachers are there to help them learn and to have a positive school experience. Friends and peers are also a great resource for help, especially if they're working on group projects or assignments.
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Feel Good About Seeking Help: Sometimes children can feel afraid to ask questions as they fear being judged by peers or their teachers, but try to explain that everyone needs support in different areas and there is no such thing as a bad question. Parents can let their children know that if they seek help early before the content moves on, it can prevent further confusion. Examples could sound like, "Remember when you were struggling to memorize math facts, but then your friend created a game to help you understand it more? There are many different ways for all people to understand information - and it's okay to seek help."
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Modeling Help at Home: Discuss with your child how asking questions is a sign of curiosity and a way to learn and grow. This can be demonstrated around the home, for example, when parents are cooking dinner, they can ask their child, "I could use some help. How many eggs does the recipe call for?" or "Could you help me and preheat the oven to the temperature listed on the recipe?" By modeling how to ask for help at home, children will understand that needing support is normal and doesn't undermine their capabilities.
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How Students Help Teachers: Share with your child that when they ask for help from a teacher, it helps the teacher as well. Explain that teachers value students' feedback in regards to their lesson (i.e., not understanding vocabulary or a specific concept), which communicates to teachers which parts need further clarification. Children could say to their teacher, "Can you explain this part in a different way? I'm still confused about this story problem." When children understand how their questions can help their teachers, it can alleviate anxiety about approaching their teacher.